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The sharing of those experiences makes for a deeper understanding of the world for all involved.

Lest we forget, however, this racial profiling thing goes both ways.

*** As I've dated more than my fair share of European men—Josephine Baker ain't got nothing on me but a banana skirt—I found myself identifying with this lady writer who discusses feeling unattractive as a black woman in America until hanging out in Europe.

While I'm certainly a sucker for an accent, I'm mostly attracted to European men because they don't have the same racial hang-ups as Americans (they have their own racist/ethnicist problems, but mostly with each other). It's something I'm reminded of everyday; it's in the way people view me, how they interact with me, how I see the world.

My first memories of what was deemed an attractive man were almost all white, I never saw that many black gay men growing up, and when I did see them they were rarely if ever posited as an object of desire.

And then suddenly we’re in post-racial America: we have a black president, we’re all quoting Lil Wayne and Maya Angelou and everything's fine and dandy.And these realizations have also made me more critical of whitness and my attraction to it.I like white boys who have a sense of their whiteness as it relates to the world, and who realize that my blackness means that I relate to the world differently.“Ultimately each one of our own individual choices is profoundly informed by the community we grow up in, perhaps by the relationships we had with our siblings or parents," Silverberg said."I mean, to try and unpack that would probably take years for each person and so…I don’t know…I give wide latitude to other people when they talk about the kind of people they’re into.” As we all should. I think we should just stop pretending that race is a preference.

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